Upcoming Shows

DUI in the Coffeehouse

Check out this rare opportunity to see DUI mix it up, innovate, and… well… improvise some more experimental comedy. We’ll be blending stand up and long-form improv into our classic recipe. What better place to have a slightly alternative show than in the slightly alternative Coffeehouse on East? 

DUI and Pumpkin Pie

Weekends at Crowell is hosting DUI for a holiday-themed night of laughs and face-stuffing (hopefully not simultaneously). We’ll be performing and there will be free ice cream and pie. It’s our first West Campus dorm show of the semester, so make the most of this great opportunity!

DUI’s Little Big Show

What’s littler than Big Show but bigger than a little show? DUI’s Little Big Show, of course! We pull out all the stops for this one, including wearing button-downs. More than your average DUI show, Little Big Show promises a new and exciting format along with the games you know and love. It’s not too early to buy your tickets for just $3 online; just search “DUI” at tickets.duke.edu.

Booking DUI

Want DUI to come perform in your dorm?  Tell your RA or House Council email us at dui@duke.edu to book your show now! The proceeds from our shows enable DUI to donate $10,000 every year to the Scott Carter Foundation for Pediatric Cancer Research, so please help us to help this worthy cause.

More Goodness

Show Us How You 903

DUI continues its partnership with the Duke Men’s Basketball team, this time getting behind Coach K’s unprecedented milestone. We want you to join us in showing Coach K just how Crazie you are. Check out our video, starring Andre Dawkins and Ryan Kelly, at 903andcounting.com. 

T-Shirts

A big seller at our Parents’ Weekend show, and now for the first time on American Apparel T’s! We have both Navy and White, each just $10. If you would like a shirt, please email us at dui@duke.edu.

Workshops

As well as performing improv comedy shows, DUI also runs workshops that teach improv concepts and skills. These interactive, entertaining workshops are great for team building and improving communication and interview skills. Workshops last around an hour, and we offer discount rates for student groups. Email us at dui@duke.edu if you would like to discuss what we can do for you.

News Jokes

Most of the Republican Presidential candidates.

Two new hybrid-electric accordion buses were added to the Duke bus fleet this week. When asked to comment about the new buses, one driver responded, “I love the extra room in the back, but the polka sound really grates me.”

On Tuesday Texas Governor Rick Perry suggested making Congress operate part time. Many opponents to this plan have come forward, most notably C-SPAN which will now have to fill its programming schedule with reruns of Gilligan’s Island.

After Rick Perry’s embarrassing performance in last week’s debate, the governor returned home to his loving family and tucked his kids into bed: John, Sally and…um…uh…shoot…well it was John, Sally and…who was the third one? The EPA. He kissed the EPA good night.

Penn State football’s defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was arrested for sexually abusing boys through his children’s foundation, “Second Mile.”  This explains why Eminem is so screwed up; he was so far beyond this foundation growing up on “8 Mile.”

Herman Cain made a sexist comment in last week’s GOP debate, referring to Congresswoman Pelosi as “Princess Pelosi.”  He has apologized publicly to his colleagues, his constituents and his own wife: Queen Cain.

Vehemently criticizing the proposed $450 billion in defense budget cuts, McCain argued that America would cease to be the global military superpower. Gérard Longuet, the French Minister of Defense, responded to McCain’s complaint: “Suck it up, John. We do just fine with our 17th century musketeer division.”

President Obama recently shoulder-tapped Duke Law professor Scott Silliman to fill an appellate judge position on the United States Court of Military Commission Review. Silliman is noted for being one of the nation’s foremost national security scholars and for having received a chili pepper on Rate My Professor.

British Officials reported this week that they will employ surface to air missiles to help keep the 2012 olympics safe.  They also plan to unveil their most top secret weapon next week, a vivacious, veracious villain-fighting man with a mask and a cape.

Warren Buffett recently shed his tech aversion by buying nearly 11 billion dollars worth of IBM stock, making him the largest shareholder in the company. Buffett remarked: “After finally getting around to seeing Tron: Legacy, I’ve finally realized that technology is worth investing in. Wow, what a movie. Those lightcycles, words can’t even…”

Sasha Grey recently read to elementary school students in California, causing many parents to express outrage. Kirk Scott, parent of a 3rd grader that was read to, told the press: “Why weren’t we told that she was coming? I would have loved to come.”

President Obama heads to Australia this week. He claims he is going to check out the U.S. military base in Darwin, but we all know he’s only going to knock out a few easy engineering credits and drink on the beach. Don’t worry, he’ll be back before Thanksgiving break!

Make DUI your homepage (you’d probably be the first!):
Twitter      Facebook      YouTube
www.dukeuniversityimprov.com

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Upcoming Shows

DUI in Randolph
Thursday, November 10th
8:30pm
Randolph Dormitory

Want DUI to come perform in your dorm?  Tell your RA or House Council email us at dui@duke.edu to book your show now!
The proceeds from our shows enable DUI to donate $10,000 every year to the Scott Carter Foundation for Pediatric Cancer Research, so please help us to help this worthy cause.

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Upcoming Shows

Parents’ Weekend Show
Saturday October 29, 9:00pm
Page Auditorium
Get your tickets to DUI’s Parents’ Weekend Show now. This is one of our biggest and most popular shows of the year, and it is likely to sell out. Whether you have family visiting or if you just want some high energy evening entertainment to spice up your life, this is a show you do not want to miss. Tickets are available online here, or at the box office in the Bryan Center.

Want DUI to come perform in your dorm?  Tell your RA or House Council email us at dui@duke.edu to book your show now!
The proceeds from our shows enable DUI to donate $10,000 every year to the Scott Carter Foundation for Pediatric Cancer Research, so please help us to help this worthy cause.

2008 campaign poster child ‘Joe the Plumber’ has recently announced his congressional candidacy. Critics say Joe just doesn’t have the experience to serve alongside America’s congressmen and women, but Joe insists, “I’ve worked with shit all my life.”

In a recent poll, 43% of Americans have said that they agree with the views expressed by the members of the Occupy Wall Street movement. In an even more recent poll, 43% of the members of the Occupy Wall Street movement have said that they don’t know what those views are.

The New Zealand rugby team, the All Blacks, this week won the World Cup for the first time since 1987. Captain Richie McCaw blamed the long wait on widespread misinterpretation of the team name as a racial slur.
A British man recently became the first person to have a smartphone docking station built into his arm. Many have called this an incredible technological breakthrough and have applauded the man’s bravery. Specifically, many are shocked that he would publicly show that he owns a Nokia smartphone and not an iphone.

The 7 billionth child will be born today in Bangladesh, according to officials at the United Nations Population and World Health Studies Center. He is due at 11am. 7-11…oh thank heaven.

“Race Against the Machine,” a new book published this week, details how more jobs are predicted for machines, not people. Machines have therefore begun calls to aggressively unionize, which prognosticators have derisively described as mere dreams of electric sheep.

The last B53 nuclear bomb, 600 times more powerful than that dropped on Hiroshima in 1945, has been dismantled near Amarillo, Texas. When asked what they were going to do with the various dangerous parts of the bomb, a top government official responded: “Huh. I don’t know, that’s a great question actually. Landfill? Probably a landfill.”

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–Hunter Douglas

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Come see them in their first show on Wednesday:   DUI’s Second Secret Show!!!!

Blackwell Arch at 8:00

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Be prepared for more shows, more videos, and a whole lot more DUI in your life. The good kind.

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