Duke University Improv

Bonus Fun 

As well as performing improv comedy shows, DUI also runs workshops that teach improv concepts and skills. These interactive, entertaining workshops are great for team building and improving communication and interview skills. Workshops last around an hour, and we offer discount rates for student groups. Email us at dui@duke.edu if you would like to discuss what we can do for you.

News Jokes

Herman Cain’s gaffe that China was “trying to develop nuclear capability” has been met with much scrutiny as China has had this capability since 1964. Cain’s advisers are removing all references to China from his upcoming speech, “2012: Is America is Ready for its First Black President?”

Thermal images taken of “Occupy” protests around the world have shown many of the tents to be devoid of warm bodies at night. These findings indicate that the protestors are either absent or reptiles.Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou agreed to step down for a new Prime Minister to take his place under the new unity government. The former Prime Minister was happy to leave the job to someone more qualified: “My name has only ever had 3 syllables, I had no chance against the Androutsopoulas’s & Athanasiadis-Novas’s of this world”

 

Six men who lived in cramped, windowless compartments for more than 17 months to simulate a mission to Mars emerged from their Russian-based capsule on Friday. The originally 12 month assignment had to be extended because HAL wouldn’t open the pod bay doors. 

The New York Times recently reported that the fervor around Tim Tebow’s beliefs and his struggles for the Denver Broncos has escalated into a filler story for slow news days.

Kim Kardashian gained over $17 million from her 72-day marriage. The recent divorce leaves people wondering: did she use marriage for money? In other news, homosexuals continue their ruthless rampage against the sanctity of marriage.

 

In pop cultural news, Justin Bieber agreed to take a DNA paternity test in light of recent allegations that he fathered a child. Bieber was reputedly excited for the test – he just learned about DNA in his 7^th grade bio class and found the process super fun.

 

Meg Urry, chairwoman of the Department of Physics at Yale University, stated this week that an asteroid collision with earth is “very possible.” She is currently in the process of recruiting wizards to repel any such asteroids.

DreamWorks’ film Puss in Boots 3D grossed $34 million on its opening weekend, dominating box offices worldwide. However, American audiences were disappointed, wishing DreamWorks had released Shrek 5 instead.